Self

the town is desolate
my mind is full of hate
unanswered questions start streaming in
like childhood ghosts of now and has been

memories fade
my heart remains in the same place
sometimes looking to escape
other times want’s to self hate
the harm inside my own fate
wishing to let go of this place

eyes open wide and mouth sewn shut
this feeling of alone thrusts in my gut
memories fade and come back into light
it starts heavy, especially at night

cross the lines at the wrong speed
this time it’s taken a back seat
i can’t be a victim my whole life
stab wounds heal
my soul thicker than sheep’s wool
painting stars across my eyes
wondering how to paint a new disguise
happiness isn’t what you experience
happiness is what happens next
the results
the facts
the truth
its a pact

keep on wondering where i lost my self
i think she may be hiding in heart beats and bones
somewhere in there building up into stone
i sweep her back up and create a shell so strong
made of gold and stars and all those things from mars
place her there where she can care
remain yourself and don’t let yourself crack
no matter how much we know this world is wrecked
no amount of money will make your soul grin
but i know the key is what’s within
i keep her safe and relate to her because she is my own
you find yourself realizing YOU are your home

right in the center
brought together
X cross it with double care
and always remember, she is there.

(c)Starla

(photo Kevin Llewellyn)